This probably reads a bit dis-jointed. As I place pictures, I end up commenting and so sometimes there are thoughts inserted into the middle of thoughts…

Most of this is copy/pasted from the commentary of the video I posted…

This is a reflection on a window. Isn’t everything?

faithandherghosts | August 29, 2010

It’s long and hard to play – but, worth it. I guess. Value is relative. Not bad for a video that took all of 15 minutes (including ten minutes of filming) to make.

Watch the ridge of cloud directly in front of the camera, the – um…illuminated one. No, I don’t want to talk about how everything looks like everything else around here. I didn’t plan it or prune it. And if I did – well, it would’ve gotten screwed up. I screw up everything that I plan.

And the vague visage of Iconic Status that is hanging in what I know to be the empty air over my stairs, well I suppose that probably means something.

Man, this stuff is SO WEIRD! I mean, what the…?

Oh, another archetypal angel.

I was taking picture after picture today and then I thought, “Man – I have got to sit down.” So, I set up the webcam device and just let ‘er roll for about 10 minutes while I tried to just relax. Tough to do when you feel compelled to take pictures of clouds to prove that God exists, even though you try hard not to believe in God. Sort of a strange situation.

Even more strange and maddening is that I recorded the song (titled: ‘Saints’) in late May of LAST YEAR – I didn’t even hardly ever THINK about saints back then, but then I was all, “Oh – I’ve totally got to record this song about Saints. I worked my ass off to record that thing in like two hours. That’s why it sounds pretty bad. I like the overlay of the insect and traffic sound. The creaking sound is the wooden gate at the top of the stairs. I was trying to get it to blow shut…I was all, “Okay – yeah, so close the gate then. Go on – close the damn gate!”

Of course the gate did not blow closed from the force of some Almighty breath – but, the video stops right as the clouds quickly shift themselves to form some figure on a wall that blooms into an eternal flame, a bird type situation…the video does not play through well and I apologize for that.

It is the downfall of the hyperprolific…the edges can be rough…but, we’re too busy being honest to really care…someone’s perfect is another’s glaring flaw. whatever.

…the sky became the edges of feathers, IT is that big…it scares me a bit…the size of the it…

because it can also be quite small…hardly there at all, only if you squint…it is hard to look at…like most truth…
It is worth watching on full screen. Makes no sense. All I did was hit record, trim the end frames to make it youtubable – dragged the brightness down – cause the clouds can be a bit hard on the eye, I used the b/w with red filter setting. The flickering is just how my webcam tends to record when it’s outside. My ‘Typical’ video has the same effect. I don’t know why. I have a strong sense, but no clear answers.

Thanks for your time. Please tell your friends that Sky Sez: Almighty is PISSED…but, forgiving, as long as we clean up our act considerably. I have clouds that suggest exactly what our consequences may be.

By the way – I think the Almighty wants us out of oceans and out of the air. The sky was really rollin’ em’ out today. The sense I got was that, um…we are supposed to, um…stop boating…?

I’m all, “Yeah, right. Like that’s gonna happen.”

“Yes. I know. Yes, I understand that oceans and airspace are a privilege and not a right. Yes, believe me, I know – they made a bad mistake, going where we weren’t intended to go…but, seriously – you REALLY THINK THAT ANYONE IS GOING TO LISTEN TO ME? Dude, Sky – you have got to be joking! Are you just trying to find some excuse to kill me because I made such a mess of everything in my life, just trying to fit in?”

So the Sky is all:

“Well, she’s proved to be a total dud as far her effectiveness as a human…let’s give her one last chance, hmmm…what could I have her do? Oh. I know: SAVE THE WORLD!”

(just kidding, Mom. I am just trying to work with I’ve got here, folks. Oh, yeah – remember, I wanted to be ‘a mother, an artist, a gardener’ – Where did all this cloud business come from…oh, yeah – the Sky. Yup. Good ol’ Sky. Urgh. Didn’t sign up for this. However, it is much like hearing a car crash in the night and knowing that it is the right thing to do to see if anyone is hurt.

…Or seeing a movie star in the mall food court, even if you don’t even like the movie star – you still sort of notice it. And damn if that same movie star isn’t at that same food court ALL THE TIME – and NOBODY NOTICES! So, you take some pictures and then the movie star starts acting REALLY sexy and glamorous, but still NOBODY notices…I’d say the movie star is eventually going to get pretty fed up with the lack of attention and either throw a big tantrum

(read: tidal wave)

…or simply leave (read: humans destroy ourselves by nuclear holocaust)…let me tell you, this afternoon, it occurred to me that once someone figures out that I am real and see the possibility of the resources I am offering…well, it occurred to me that the clouds will probably leave…and I hadn’t checked my email and I thought…my goodness, what if I never see them again?

And I almost wept. As irreverent as I try to be, because the world is full of false reverence…as much as I try to separate the symbol from the meaning, well – they are the most beautiful and unexpected thing I have ever seen…in the sky. The world is chock full of beautiful and

unexpected things.

Fortunately, the only email I had was an Instructables and a couple from my mom…so, yay. More clouds. I wonder what would happen if I just ignored them? I don’t know if I can? They are very interesting structurally and I like thinking about the possible interpretations. All the different possible reactions. I don’t want to upset anyone…it’s not like that. Not at all. I just feel like – you know, someone should consider what all those angel-type clouds might be indicating as far as our air quality…um, okay.

Could ya’ll please just consider me something of that sort and not make too much of it…not that anybody is making much of anything…that’s okay…I know how quickly word can spread and I am glad I have had a chance to present myself as clearly as possible. I am a mother, an artist, a gardener. I am afraid of most people in some way I have never been able to articulate. It is the one thing I have no words for.

I watch the sky calmly and with resignation, it makes everything make sense…except the world. The world makes no sense. Please email me if you have any questions…I feel a little like I am underwater…

(Comparison of Almighty to Glamorous Movie Star was for Point of Perspective Only)

(Folks, it is not entirely outside of the realm of reason to imagine some such dreadful thing may happen.)

(A Movie Star Unnoticed – At A Mall! OH MY GOD!!!)

(We live in a very old, very strange world that we know very little about, and we are fucking it up at a rate that boggles the mind. We have dug up so many damn graves, it’s a wonder not

everyone’s got ghosts.)

This shit sounds TOTALLY delusional. It’s really quite funny though…these circumstances I find myself in. An empirically minded heretic ( I don’t even think I even know what a heretic is…?) with a haunted webcam and a good view. Of course, the clouds that I note as significant due to their structure, movement, or apparent density (the clouds, not mine…) well, they seem to show up everywhere.

if nothing else, well – I sure do have a lot of pictures of clouds. I took about 1200 more today. It was a busy day of “Shit, what if I miss something important.” I have barely looked at the pictures. It is weird to have so many photos of images that seem so rare. And to have NO IDEA what to do with them…I think I want somebody to help me to earn money from them, so I can grow culinary mushrooms in my henhouse and let this whole cloud business be dealt with by the professionals. I know the words to say, but I will only speak on my own terms. People get killed over this sort of weirdness. That’s because people are violent buffoons who know nothing of grace and humility. I don’t, in all honesty, want to have much to do with media. That is why I will not personally contact a media source. Other than Mr. Beck – just because I want to know if we’re related.

I am not going to bust my ass promoting the truth as I see it. People have a choice as to what stories they deem important. I feel a little sad that mine is so undervalued.

I am a storyteller at heart…even in the simple lines of machines, I find nuance. The value of a storyteller is measured by the number of people who listen to them tell the tales that live in their heart…

I am a good storyteller

In a world that doesn’t value an honest story illustrated by clouds…

My checking account is overdrawn. I need a job. Isn’t there some exemption clause? People who have the closest thing to proof of an Almighty don’t have to go get a job at Ingles? I mean, I will…I just wish I didn’t have to. I just want to stay home. Take a long drive here and there. Be a stranger. Raise my kids. Know that people care about me, but not become consumable.

I asked for hands, I got hands…sort of.

I make no claims, I stake no claims. Be nice.

This is almost an ordinary picture of an ordinary day…but, it’s not…I’m sorry. Don’t be scared. All these photos were taken today. I don’t know what to do other than to wait.

Sky Sez: Read this Blog? Please tell me if you’ll let me help?

Sky Sez: Faith Needs Someone to Help Her Do The Right Thing?

This is insane. I don’t know what else to do. I mean, what kind of asshole mother would bail on the Sky!?

Nonetheless, this is how I feel…

I don’t even want to save the silly world. I say, wash it away. Even me. I am not going to do this shit by myself, especially when nobody even CARES…

I guess the Sky was perhaps expecting us to fall all over ourselves like we probably used to, when the sky was all there was to watch. Sorry, Dude…it ain’t like that anymore. I hope the Sky realizes that I will get in BIG TROUBLE if I start mouthing off about salvation and chosen people…

I am a just a 34-year old mother of two. I live in the mountains, but grew up on the coast. I am sad right now, my throat hurts. I will just keep going. I wish this wasn’t the way, but it is. I don’t know why. Just call me an artist. Post Modern Anti-Pop Phenom. Magical Realist. Whatever. Just never, ever call me crazy. That is a hedgehog. It has meaning, but probably not to you.

Is there really anything to say?

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