Post-script, 2014: “My God, I was out of my mind with belief.”

Insects and Birds…peace is the way. See? It is right there, in it’s beak. The key. The Bee. The Dove. I don’t know what the rest means…because you total fucking assholes will not explain it to me. Okay. I’m over my indignation (to be made indignant or to lose dignity in response to the ignorant haters who can see, but whose hearts are so strung with false salvation and doubt that they cannot believe it…even when it’s right there.)

I don’t even like all that fancy shit that is supposed to prove how much we adore God. Give me a damn break. If you give a shit about God, you will see his work all around you and you will feel in your bones the Everlasting Truth. And you will get your shit together. You people are ridiculous. Seriously. Do you even freaking read anything? GOD HATES TELEVISION. Yup. There you go.
I said it.

Haha…maybe part of the consequence for being JERKS for the vast majority of my life is having to deal with me. Thanks for everything you taught me. Assholes. Seriously. Arrogant and cruel.

You have NO IDEA how little I give 1/2 a white rat’s ass what about what ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS THINK. That’s right. I said it folks. Now I am over being indignant and ask kindly for the Church’s forgiveness in momentarily rejoicing over the FACT that I AM NOT CRAZY, I AM NOT WEAK…AND I – above all else – AM NOT SELFISH.

Go sell your stories. Tell the truth, or don’t – – – I know how I’m written and I know what know.

So, please…

The Girl Who Is Quite Possibly Onto Something Huge and Full of Salvation. The Girl Who Has Proof. The Girl with Tattoos and a nicotine addiction (handrolled tobacco, on the porch…organically grown…not marketed to kids…)

(I will probably have to quit at some point…)

(I don’t want to…but, I don’t want to do any of this.)

The Girl Who Has Scars and weeps easily…the girl, who – thanks to all of this…may be negotiating the custody of my children…YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!

DO YOU THINK FOR A HALF A GOD DAMNED SECOND THAT I WOULD COMPROMISE MY MOTHERHOOD IF I DIDN’T HAVE TO!???

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ME AS? Have you EVER known me?

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I PUMPED BREAST MILK FOR OVER A YEAR FOR MY KID WHO COULDN’T NURSE…

“Oh, just give him formula…I gave all my kids formula…”

I understand that formula is marketed as a solution for mothers who are trying to accommodate all that they have to accommodate in the ‘civilized world’ – but, mothers milk is important…biologically and – I think – somehow it connects us in a basic way…wires us for full-functioning potential…please pray that the mothers who must use formula to feed their infants understand that the problem lies not with them, but in a culture which has led to the necessity of false substitutes for that which can not be substituted.

Man, I am sorry to be going on and on and on…but, that is how the Sky is communicating…it goes on and on and on…with spines and eyes and crowns of thorns and sharp drawn lines and clear graphed stairs and wings…

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Except I have to…oh well…deal with it.

They better know that the poor people who work in the fields will know a bird when they see a bird and those who huddle in sand blown tents will see a Bee and they will know that they are the same…

They will recognize the spines of their brothers bent in labor and they will stand tall for they have the knowledge of the simply sacred.

Folks, I am just the photographer.

This is the ‘moon’ I saw low in the E/NE sky this morning at around 3 am. I am sorry I don’t have better pictures. I will try to find one that is more clear.

Introduction…

Look upon her WITHOUT LUST AND KNOW SHE THAT SHE HAS SUFFERED.
HELP HER SPIRIT TO REMAIN CALM AND PEACEFUL.

(picture deleted, she was pretty…whatever that means.)

From Lilian.

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Lilian
to me

show details 7:14 AM (3 hours ago)

My Dear

I am more than happy in your mail. How do you do today? .
My name is Lilian (25 years) single and never married, I am from the Sudan in Africa and I am currently living in a refugee camp here in Dakar-Senegal as a result of war that took place in my country.

My late father Engr. Aaron Fadil Dabir was chief executive of director of the oil marketers, as well as Managing Director (AFD ENGINEERING COMPANY LTD) in Southern Darfur in my country, and he was also President (CASTLE LAYING CONSTRUCTION COMPANY) before the rebels attacked our house one early morning and killed him and my mother in cold blood.
It was only me that is alive now and I was able to make my way to a country Senegal, where I live now as a refugee.

I would like to know more about you, your like and dislike, your hobbies and what you are doing presently. I will tell you more about myself in my next mail.

Attached here is my picture, have a nice day.
Hoping to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Your love,
Lilian.

I received an email from this young woman a few days ago.

hi

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lilian dadir

show details Sep 2 (2 days ago)

Hello

Nice to meet you my name is Lilian.
i found your Profile on website i became interest in you i will
like you to write to my private Email (Liliandabir@hotmail.com) so that we
can know each other better and
tell you more about me and send you my picture for you to see how
i am i believe age don t have any thing to do with love or likeness
thank you,
Lilian.

Hello

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Faith Rhyne
to Lilian

show details Sep 2 (1 day ago)

Hi Lilian – How are you? I am well. It is a pretty day here in Asheville, NC – some beautiful clouds. I think the old stories were true. I think I understand them. Please pray for peace and sense in the world and tell your friends – quietly, if you must – that God loves women and children and that our hearts hold the answers…
Please lift your voice in quiet thankfulness for the possibility that all the ugliness will be seen as evidence of a road that misleads…

Kindness and gentleness are the way.

 

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She is the only one who has responded to me with any generosity or sincerity of spirit. She does not know what kindness she bestowed upon me. On this morning when my own family fails to believe in me.

“I do have faith in you,” my mother pleads.

“You don’t just tell people you have faith in them. You show them.”

Thank you Lilian, for the strength of your words and the perspective that you bring to all who doubt the perseverance of the human heart to continue in goodwill. Please protect this woman and uplift her people. Help those who fought the battles of men know that there is NO POWER IN BLOODSHED…we must restore the dignity of grace and tolerance, we must learn from the patient hearts of those long wounded in many ways.

I do not care who believes me. It is true and it is the way for me, right now…

I ask that the Catholics please email me. It is very important.

I am not insane. I don’t know how to generate computer images…and even if I did…how could I have so many? Please, you can have my files – just help me to know what they mean. If, by the way, you – like everyone else – would rather be arrogant and doubtful in the eyes of an honest woman who has always had an eye for composition and who has, in all honesty…pretty much reached the knowing of knowing I cannot return to the world in which the sky is just the sky…you, all of you, let me watch it alone. I did not understand. I was scared. I probably looked insane as I stood in my yard on the grave of my dog and wept, a stupid fucking webcam clutched to my chest. And idiots walking down the sidewalk and I cannot speak to tell them to look up, that the sky is rolling like a film of All Times. Nobody looks up. They are too busy. Working.

Nobody is explaining anything and that is NOT OKAY. You are letting me do this alone. Perhaps…it just occurred to me that I am pretty much completely doomed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I never asked for this shit. I just wanted to be able to draw a horse.

I could, I guess – go walk downtown to the Basilica…

Crap. God, you need to tell your people to HELP ME HELP THEM. Seriously. This is completely surreal. If you only had any idea how my bones feel as if they are burning. This is sick. Like Old Testament sick. I want to go home. I am home. I want to be left alone. I am alone. I want to be able to help people. I can’t.

I’m sorry you don’t understand. Just let it be…and be hopeful that someone will have an educated enough eye to see the FUCKING VERTEBRATE IN THE SKY.

Do you know what the caller said when I told her there were vertebrate in the sky?

“Oh, cool.”

Maybe you all would see them if you had any clue what a GOD DAMNED SPINE looked like. Americans don’t know enough about art or biology or even our own hands to fucking recognize a STATUE IN THE SKY.

oh, did I say ‘the sky’ – I meant to say that it is all part of an impossible composition. So there. I did it. And I did it and I did it alone. You see how the bowed head looks, also, like a mantis. Hahahaha…it is all the SAME THING!

I have proof. You all better sit down and talk nicely about me and the remarkable possibilities that this holds for all of us…the most true vast majority

Yup. Better have a meeting folks. Too bad you weren’t paying attention

I was written to show proof. You had better be respectful or I will lead every poor broken spirit in this country who has nothing to lose to DISMANTLE THE MACHINE…quietly, peacefully…brick by brick…better start taking it apart guys. I have some ideas…but, what do I know…?

Ask The Everlasting…

I finally feel not scared. I feel like things might be okay…please…listen. I do not want to have to re-enact unnecessary violence and misunderstanding. We have misunderstandings…but, the common ground is as mighty as the sky…

It is written. Please turn off the drills. Please. There is no sense in the world. We will ALL HAVE PLENTY…

Please. In the name of Thy God, of Thy Jesus, of The Buddha…and to all.

(I tried to rotate the picture, but it would not rotate.) (Please, I mean no disrespect by the sloppiness of my American hand. Be tolerant and I will try to write you a less hurried message. However, I will offer my confirmation to you with a smile.)

Know I intend only peaceful gestures geared toward resolving the issues we face. I understand that your position is one of great economic importance and I do not dismiss that. Please know that the oil beneath YOUR LAND – as dry as it is – is yours, but only if ALL of YOUR PEOPLE WILL BENEFIT. You must NOT drill deeply. We must work together. It is important.)

Forgive my script and inarticulation…I don’t often write in the hand of my mother’s father’s people. I am peaceful. Please know that I understand many of my posturings will appear sinful to you…know that in my heart is the purest of light and I stand in humility. Please don’t wish me dead. The issue of oil is in deep drilling…please know that The Cradle is Holy and There Shall Be No Fires There. Let All Fires Be Extinguished and Let All Men Know that they must be humble as they were when when they were young…

I know it’s all very complicated. It can be resolved with patience and tolerance. Please know.

I am trying my best.

I drew this ten years ago. The script says: The sacrum is a spade shaped bone…curving inward and over as if looming. I think I must of been preparing to take notice even then…the Sky is full of Sacral Indications…

I think it refers to The Cradle From Which We All Were Raised…

Okay. Is this enough for you? Please STOP THE DRILLS. You must not only say that you believe, you must show you believe. I am telling you…GOD, as I understand THE EVERLASTING, REQUIRES THAT YOU STOP THE DRILLS IMMEDIATELY. In the Gulf of Mexico. Now.

Jesus Is Sickened By What News is Carried By The KingFisher…

STOP IT NOW.

In the Name of ALL OF OUR FATHERS and IN THE NAMES of OUR SONS AND DAUGHTERS and IN THE NAMES OF OUR MOTHERS…Please allow the doves to fly over the land…please.

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